It’s a feeling that’s physical more than intellectual anecdotal rather than totalising. The tension and release, the push and pull and second guessing and wondering whether she’s brushing her hand against yours on purpose and if she’s noticed the jump in your pulse as she does it. The space between tentative possibility and ecstatic actualising is my favourite place for pop to come from. “It articulates something so intangible and human” Please do listen to the song on a loop while reading this, thank you. Basically, ‘Into You’ is timeless a proper I’ll-fight-anyone-who-says-otherwise grade-A masterpiece and doesn’t need an anniversary or tenuous link (see above anyway though right) to be celebrated/lauded. What a toolbox.ĪNYWAY, this is 2018 (new year, new me etc) and given Ariana’s started ‘teasing’ her new album, I thought I’d rectify my wrong and post some glittering words from a selection of guest writers below. Lots of people replied, emails were sent, words were filed and then I went and fucked it up by not getting round to posting anything, not only letting the song’s anniversary pass by, but letting a whole eight months slither into the time vacuum that is life. The song only (ONLY!!!) peaked at number 13 in America (number 14 in the UK) and I wanted people to attempt to right that wrong via the medium of words. Way way back in May 2017 I posted a tweet asking people if they might like to help write a blog about the 10/10 perfection that is Ariana Grande’s ‘Into You’.
Grande and anyone else who refers to a hole as wide as a door, you get to call yourself a bottom. I still stand by this excellent prose, but today I’m making an addendum. Two months ago, I called for straight people to stop calling themselves a “bottom.” “Unless that dick or object thrust inside you has made your asshole feel like it’s going to rip in half, you don’t get to call yourself a bottom,” I wrote. “I can’t think of a time when someone has sung about 69ing in a way that’s not childish,” Brock Bottom says. And not just on “34+35.” Positions is a trap-pop guide on the importance of intimate honesty when having sex. If anything, Grande is showing us the power of a power bottom.
It’s fun to imagine the idea that Grande is out here lifting the veil and embracing sexual positions often mocked for being too feminine.
There are no special criteria to meet, and the stereotype of being an inherently subservient bottom is retrograde. Still, some queer people find it empowering to identify as a bottom, exploring the pleasures of stimulating their prostate. You don’t have to be penetrated to have sex. To be clear, sexuality is fluid and so are the positions you embrace when getting intimate. Seems like Grande is over Big Dick Energy. The entirety of “34+35” is erotic, which is new for the artist known for lovelorn sensuality on “Into You” and sexual innuendos like station cycling (i.e., riding) on “Side to Side.” “Baby, you might need a seatbelt when I ride it / I’mma leave it open like a door, come inside it,” she sings. It’s all about fiber pills and avoiding dairy. (And don’t worry if a little discharge comes out we’re proud Shit Dick Summer supporters here.) Drinking coffee functions as a more natural, less effective enema to clean out your insides so nothing comes out when you’re getting down - aka “keeping it squeaky.” Same with eating healthy. What does she mean? Well, it takes some planning to take it up the ass without creating a mess.
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